Twenty-four

What makes it so hard for us to talk to each other? How to break the emotional war?(or wall?)

Talking is inevitable. It must have been the most astonishing skill bestowed upon the people by the God, right after the ability to think. Yet, meanwhile, it must have been the toughest art of life that one needs to master, too. The greatest gift is the hardest ones to be truly appreciated. People don't seem to find pleasure in talking to each other. I attribute the matter concerned to the lack of faith which people put on each other, the unspoken conflicts which live silently in one's heart, and the clashes of opinions between the subjects.

First and foremost, the lack of faith. Enlighten me, if there's any, how is it possible for one to talk to a person whom you do not have faith in? In other words, it is simply implausible for a person to talk to someone who he does not believe in. Be it worrying that this person whom you talk to might breach his promise by leaking the source out or whatsoever, you simply don't feel like talking to this person anymore. You just don't feel good, to talk to him. An invisible barrier forms, you acknowledge its presence but you'll choose to ignore it, perhaps for the most practical reason-to avoid confrontation, or for the most ridiculous reason-to maintain your "friendship". The frequency of talking will thus reduce, gradually yet significantly, and then you come to a point where you find no point of talking to this person anymore.

The clashes of opinions, as shown in the movie "A thousand years of good prayers", the father and the daughter find it hard to communicate due to the disparities in perceptions and viewpoints. It is shown that the father did try to fill the pause with some chatters while having dinner with the daughter yet his struggle is proved to be futile. Bicker occurs when the father condemn the daughter for being rude by asking 'direct' question whereas the daughter regards his father criticism as obsolete and doesn't make sense. Two persons with completely different insights and believes, if were to talk to each other, will probably end up with quarrels and dissatisfaction. That's why it is so hard for us to talk, when it comes to the not-so-right person, and the bloody truth is that it is not easy to get the feel-so-right person in our life.

Lastly, it is hard to talk, when there are uneasy feelings bottling up in one's heart. It certainly is not something you can tell, without taking a second thought, of all the possible consequences which would happen, if you touched the most sensitive topic, as if the heat receptors in our skin being stimulated by temperature, which will then set out a chain of reaction within the nervous system and react by giving RESPONSE at last. For instance, in the movie, when the father finally talks about his past, yet the conversation[the monologue] does not sustain in a face-to-face manner but instead being "shielded" by a wall. It is the response which we are fear for, constantly. In short, we, human beings, sometimes, have the congenital tendency of eluding things we feel uncomfortable with. Confrontation, precisely.

How to break the emotional war?[Pragmatically, it is unattainable.] In order to break the emotional war, correct prescription should be given by addressing and dissolving the causes of the war. Surprisingly, talking is the only way which would probably work effectively to surmount the matter concerned. Emotion is not something that should be kept inside, it will only linger and evolve over time. Release one's emotions, be more open-minded to talk to each other...

Talking is a serious business. We talk all the time. But, how many of us are actually 'talking' to the people around us?So, open up one's mind and heart, and talk.