Seventeen

I have been dispelled. =)

It has been six years.

2003:

I asked "WHY ME?" like any other patients. I was like an outcast. I was, abnormal. I felt disgruntled. I hate the brace. It was a very hard..plastic, and till today, I'll still admire my ability to put it on for 23x7.

2004:

I loathed hospital. I saw how vulnerable human beings could be. I saw other teenagers who were just like me.I realized that I wasn't alone. I felt envious when I saw my friends wearing beautiful/fashionable clothes. With the brace on, T-shirts were my only choice. The only option to prevent people from seeing it, so that I could look 'normal' like any other girls.

2005:

It was the turning point of my life as I met someone who influenced me the most. I still hated going to hospital. I made a new brace. I consoled an eleven-year-old girl when I met her in the brace-making shop. I wish she is not crying anymore.

2006 & 2007:

Going for appointments was like watching football once in a while. I could recognize almost every doctor there. As usual, I sat quietly beside my mom. I did not smile. Nor would I talk whenever I was there in the hospital. I felt sour and I looked sour as well. Again, I saw them. I felt sympathy for them. That was why I wished I could become a doctor.

2008:

I was told to take off my brace and to come back after one year. I threw the brace aside and felt my bed at last. It was so soft, so comfortable...

Yesterday:

I held my head up and talked to the doctor for the first time since 2003. I don't hate hospital anymore. I walked around as if I were in my school. It was also the first time I went into the X-ray room without my mom. I felt familiar with that place even though I hadn't been there for one year. They kicked me out and he said he doesn't want to see me anymore. He said I should be safe now. It would not exacerbate, not anymore. I left, without looking back.

I am officially free now.

*I'm really naked this time. I had tried so hard to keep these under the carpet. OK.