Seventeen

I have been dispelled. =)

It has been six years.

2003:

I asked "WHY ME?" like any other patients. I was like an outcast. I was, abnormal. I felt disgruntled. I hate the brace. It was a very hard..plastic, and till today, I'll still admire my ability to put it on for 23x7.

2004:

I loathed hospital. I saw how vulnerable human beings could be. I saw other teenagers who were just like me.I realized that I wasn't alone. I felt envious when I saw my friends wearing beautiful/fashionable clothes. With the brace on, T-shirts were my only choice. The only option to prevent people from seeing it, so that I could look 'normal' like any other girls.

2005:

It was the turning point of my life as I met someone who influenced me the most. I still hated going to hospital. I made a new brace. I consoled an eleven-year-old girl when I met her in the brace-making shop. I wish she is not crying anymore.

2006 & 2007:

Going for appointments was like watching football once in a while. I could recognize almost every doctor there. As usual, I sat quietly beside my mom. I did not smile. Nor would I talk whenever I was there in the hospital. I felt sour and I looked sour as well. Again, I saw them. I felt sympathy for them. That was why I wished I could become a doctor.

2008:

I was told to take off my brace and to come back after one year. I threw the brace aside and felt my bed at last. It was so soft, so comfortable...

Yesterday:

I held my head up and talked to the doctor for the first time since 2003. I don't hate hospital anymore. I walked around as if I were in my school. It was also the first time I went into the X-ray room without my mom. I felt familiar with that place even though I hadn't been there for one year. They kicked me out and he said he doesn't want to see me anymore. He said I should be safe now. It would not exacerbate, not anymore. I left, without looking back.

I am officially free now.

*I'm really naked this time. I had tried so hard to keep these under the carpet. OK.

Sixteen

As I plonked myself down and let my eyes ran wild around the room, the sense of helplessness was overwhelmed. The snoring and constant coughing were unbearable. It wasn't me producing all those noises. [They were suffering, I know.] The pain in my left wrist enraged me further. It was already 3 in the morning and I was forced to eat cookies[instructed by the nurse] as my blood sugar level was below average. I lied down, and flipped through the memories. The latest software which I had just downloaded in my local disk B and there I saw...

• how I felt when I first reached our camping site-I was elated
• how I first climbed up the double-decker bed
• how I then regretted for choosing the upper bed as there were INSECTS on my bed when I wanted to sleep
• the oddest rules in RESORT which instructed its guests to wash their own plates after meals
• how a brunch of students were compelled to play in the rain with their eyes folded by scarfs
• how Franky looked like when he pointed his finger at Chan struggling to recall Chan's nick during the card game
• how we laughed our heads off at the first night and studied econs with the companion of 'wild lives'
• how Ms Chan demonstrated the way to do aerobic in the early morning [the second day]
• the way we were in the jungle, and how KCV helped her boyfriend to get through those 'obstacles'
• Senior Nor Zafry sharing his experience in Australia with us and meanwhile some of us had already 'gone' to Australia by just closing our eyes
  
• how we were being misled to cross the suspension bridge believing that FLYING FOX would be waiting for us on the other end
• jumped into the pool and had fun as if on-going assessment never existed[friends, lecturers, 'colour fox'...]
• how the l o n g-anticipated BBQ and camp fire turned out to be 'economic buffet' ,
• the extravaganza of the night: greatest performance ever![Special "WOW" for Mud's twinkle-star remix, Fad's silat and the 'adrenaline-overdosed' by the last gay partners]
• the explore race which was indisputably fun, thrilling, energy-consuming, and laudable!

And of course, all of you.

Some might think that it doesn't worth it as it is like I paid RM200 to fail my econ[I had no idea how to do the data interpretation] besides getting a few kisses from the ever-dangerous creature of God. I did feel frustrated when I think of the former. I did expect leeches but not snake. I could have dead if it was poisonous.

To sum up, RM200=Failing econ + Snake bite.
Yet, RM200 also equals to
Experience+Once in a lifetime+Friendship+Ever-lasting memories+P&C..

That night, I closed my eyes with a smile on my face. The only thing was that, they were very worried and I felt guilty for that. Still, never once had I felt regret. Because, I'm still breathing, at least.